The past couple months have been tough for me. I have struggled with myself and struggled with situations and obstacles that stood in my way. I am happy to say that I have made it past those challenges and while I know more will come I have a new confidence that I can get through anything life throws at me. I am now in a much better place with myself, and it feels so good! I still have everyday struggles with myself, but I find it so much easier to work through them now. For a while, it didn’t seem possible for things to get better. I kept asking myself “How long until I feel good again?” While I was in the middle of my storm, I felt hopeless. Everyone kept telling me that time would help along with therapy and medication, but I found that so hard to believe. One month seemed like eternity to me. I look back now and realize how much has improved in one month. I finally found the right dosage for my anxiety medication and therapy is being phased out. I can also eat and sleep again. That anxious feeling I carried around with me everywhere, all the time, isn’t as strong anymore. That feeling is easier to handle, and it doesn’t invade my life the way it did before. I feel like I have finally found myself again and I have also grown so much while addressing and dealing with my anxiety. I have slacked off on picking my fingers and toes as much. My feet have almost completely healed from the small relapse I recently experienced. My thumbs are starting to heal as well, and I have faith that I will be able to let them heal completely. I still have the urge to pick at my fingers and feet, but it’s not as often and not as strong anymore.
I was impatient with myself in the beginning. I became angry when I couldn’t change anything within a couple of days. I thought I needed to be able to solve my problems fast because I didn’t see how I could keep dealing with so much for an extended period. It was difficult to see the end of this struggle. I eventually realized time was essential and that I wasn’t helping myself by trying to get through everything quicker. I slowed down and set smaller goals for myself and adopted a more realistic approach on how to efficiently improve my mental health. The second I started to move at a slower pace and started taking time to think and focus I saw changes beginning for me. It took some time and took a lot of work from me but I made it through, and I am so proud to say I am in the best place I’ve ever been with myself. I have made so much progress with myself and with handling my anxiety. I have stepped out of my comfort zone and explored more than I ever have before.
Change doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time, work, and a lot of dedication. It seems so daunting when you’re at the bottom of the mountain, but once you reach the top, you realize everything you did was worth it. When you achieve success, your confidence increases so much, and you know you’ll be able to climb any other mountain in front of you. I came out of this as a much better person all around. I’m happy, free, confident, and brave. I also have and know how to better handle and cope with my anxiety. Anxiety isn’t something that completely goes away. I wouldn’t say I’m “healed.” I would say I’m doing better and honestly, that’s enough for me. Mental health is now something that is so important to me. Though I am in this better place I plan to continue my blog and continue writing. I have so much more to say and share about mental health. This blog has been a tremendous help to me, and I hope it has been a big help for others as well.